So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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