If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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