She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
