Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
