One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
