He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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