So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
