went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I party with great urgency now.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
