i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize