Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
