Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
