And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
porn star boner night. come get it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
