Im at strip club and am horny
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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