Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
