Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
