sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
