is your mom at the bar?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
