New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize