I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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