We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
