none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
