I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
