Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
