JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
