Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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