it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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