Whod you bang
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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