He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
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I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
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God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I did not marry a roomba.
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