I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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