Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
