so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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