Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
