My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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