I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he puts the penis in happiness.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
