dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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