I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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