I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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