Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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