I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
should my penis look like a turkey
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
