Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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