SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
