It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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