yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
