im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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