He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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