When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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