Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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