Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
