I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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