suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
