I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
