so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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