porn star boner night. come get it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
