Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
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I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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