I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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