when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
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She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
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I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
did i just pee glitter
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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