Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
wow bdsm is so cute
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