O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
